In our “Warrior Mamas” series we are taking a deep dive into secular books and media and how the enemy can use them to speak lies and bring temptation to our kids and teens.  Today, we are going to look at secular music.  If you are like most parents, you probably grew up listening to secular music without thinking anything of it.  In fact, even in Christian culture today, most kids and teens freely listen to a variety of secular music, and because it’s so accepted by our children’s peers, it is easy to overlook any negative effects it may be having on our children.  

Can Secular Music Affect Our Kids Spiritually?

While certainly not all secular music is detrimental, the truth is that a lot of secular music IS affecting our kids in a negative way. The enemy can and does use many secular songs to feed our children lies and tempt them into sinful behaviors and thoughts that can have a negative impact on their emotions and their relationship with God.  

In order to show evidence of the negative effects of secular music, I asked several young adults, who are wholeheartedly serving the Lord, about their experience with secular music as teens.  The music teens listen to often starts in the later elementary and pre-teen years, so these insights will still be relavent if you have younger kids who are approaching these years.

Here is what they said…

What Young Adults Say About Secular Music’s Impact

What type of music did you listen to in your teen years? 

Early teen years: Secular  Mid-to-late teen years: Worship  – Madelynn, 20

Rap/Hip Hop  – Zoey, 20

Heavy Metal Rock, Drill Rap, Pop Music   – Josiah, 18

Worship, Secular-country, R&B, Pop  – Julie, 19

Pretty much everything, a huge range including Christian and secular   – Chloe, 21

Every genre of music  – Ryan, 21

Rock, Rap, Pop and all sorts of secular music  – Parker, 19

How did that music affect you emotionally and spiritually?

Many of the secular songs promoted idols, and I found myself trying to relate to the artists, therefore looking at those idols too.  – Madelynn, 20

The music often talked about violence, drugs, and sex which led to my desiring to do these things. – Zoey, 20

When I would listen to rap, it would make me very violent.  I would fight people and threaten people, and when I stopped listening to rap music, I had to fight spiritual attacks.  I needed a new heart after listening to secular music because I was so angry and somewhat violent. Rock music affected me a lot spiritually.  I would listen to songs that praised the devil in the lyrics, and I didn’t fully know it did until I read the lyrics, and I didn’t realize how much it was affecting me. Pop music would make me very lustful. It made me look at women without respect because of how women in pop talked about themselves, and it made me not respect women in general.  – Josiah, 18

Listening to R&B, Pop, and Country made me feel lonely, sad, and messed with my thoughts, encouraging lustful and selfish thoughts.  Listening to Worship music helped me feel connected to the Father.  – Julie, 19

Well, I remember a lot of songs in the church I attended as an adolescent felt manipulative when put in the context of spiritual hurt I experienced there, so for a long time afterwards, I associated many of those songs with manipulation and hurt. As far as secular music goes, I do recall feeling more sad more often when I consistently listened to sad music associated with depression. I believe that what you hear and what you speak has power over how you feel and how you live, so whenever I would listen to a lot of sad music, I would often feel more negative emotions.  – Chloe, 21

It really did affect me, and it still does. I could feel the way the song was persuading me to feel, whether they were talking about something good or bad, and it would influence the way I think or my desires  in the moment.  – Ryan, 21

It made me base my decisions and how I reacted in many situations based on how I felt in the moment. It also distracted and drove me away from the Lord, as the music I was listening to was full of sin. Putting sin into your ears is never a good idea because what you put into your ears will come out of your mouth.  – Parker, 19

When did that change and what made you decide to start listening to primarily Christian music? 

When I was saved!! What made me start listening primarily to Christian music was the fact that it was life giving! It brought peace to my storm. I used to only listen to music in the car, so having worship music on while driving calmed my anxiety and made it easier to process my day with God through the music. 
– Madelynn, 20

I started only listening to worship music when I gave my life to Jesus  – Zoey, 20

What made the change for me was one night I was really depressed listening to sad songs. And I thought maybe I should just listen to Christian music instead. I cried so hard when I did.  I felt God’s presence again. I felt His love, and I just finally felt Him again.  – Josiah, 18

Around my junior year of high school, I started listening to mostly worship music. Secular music didn’t satisfy anymore.  I realized how spiritual music is and how everything you do is an act of worship – it just depends on what you are worshipping.  Secular music no longer filled the space that it did before.  – Julie, 19

I still enjoy a wide range of music! I love my Christian playlists as they promote gratitude and closeness with Jesus, but my main focus is filling my life with joyful music that makes me feel happier and more thankful, regardless of whether it’s associated with a Christian artist.  – Chloe, 21

When I got saved, I realized slowly but surely that music was very spiritual, so just watching what I listen to is very important. Even when a lot of secular music has good beats, it’s important to think about what the lyrics are talking about.  – Ryan, 21

I started listening to Christian music because it reminded me of what Jesus saved me from. It reminds me of the reason “why I do what I do,” so I can’t forget what the Lord has done in and through me. – Parker, 19

How has listening to primarily Christian music affected you emotionally and/or your relationship with God? 

It has grown my relationship exponentially. Emotionally there are so many worship songs that can speak to different emotions and show you different attributes of God through music.  – Madelynn, 20

Listening to only worship music has been great because it keeps me focused on Jesus and fills my mind with Him and not with the things of this world  – Zoey, 20

It has made my relationship with God so much better. I’m not angry anymore.  I can show love again, and I feel my Jesus so much more.  I want to read my Bible more, and it has just made me a better person in a lot of ways.  – Josiah, 18

It has helped me to be joyful in hard times. I have noticed the Lord speaking to me through songs and lyrics, and it has helped me to feel the Lord’s presence. And just worship Him through music.  – Julie, 19

It helps to start the morning with music that encourages closeness with God because then the rest of the day is more likely to reflect that.  – Chloe, 21

It  just lifts me up, especially when starting my day off with it. It helps my relationship with God by letting Him into the music in my life, so that I can worship too. It really does change the way you even react to things. It’s important so that your relationship with God doesn’t have blemishes in it.  – Ryan, 21

It draws me near to Him when I listen to it, it reminds me of two things:  1. What the gospel has done in and to me. 2. How secular music separates me from that love. – Parker, 19

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Wow, what great insights from these young adults. As we can see by these candid testimonies, songs have a powerful influence on our kids and teens, whether for good or for bad.  This is why the enemy loves to use music to draw our kids away from following God.  

4 Practical Ways to Guide Your Kids Toward God-honoring Music

The big question, then, becomes – how can we prevent our children and teens from listening to music with harmful lyrics, and how can we encourage them to focus on God-honoring music that encourages them in their faith?  Here are some ideas to try…

1. Set a Christ-Centered Music Standard in Your Home

Set a precedent in your family to listen primarily (or solely) to Christian music.  Lead by example and explain why it’s so helpful to fill your mind with Biblically-based lyrics in music. As we saw from the survey, harmful secular music can make us feel depressed, angry, and violent, think lustful thoughts, and focus on ourselves rather than God and others.  In contrast, Chrisitian music, especially worship music, can encourage us in our relationship with God, fill us with joy, help our thoughts to remain pure, and encourage us to make decisions that are God-honoring.  When put like that, it sounds like a no-brainer, right?

2. Evaluate Lyrics and Teach Discernment

When your kids ask to listen to secular songs, check out the songs and talk about the lyrics. Discuss whether the lyrics are God-honoring, neutral, or harmful.  Consider whether both the lyrics and the style of the music are age-appropriate for your child. For instance, a five-year-old may not be ready for intense forms of Christian rap that describe an artist’s past struggles with drug use, sexual sin, or violence. While these testimonies can be powerful and encouraging, they often include themes and details that are better suited for a more mature audience, rather than young, impressionable listeners. Remind your kids that even if they like the beat or tune, if the words are not consistent with God’s truth, they can and will have a negative effect on them emotionally and spiritually.  Show them the results of the survey above if they are old enough to appreciate it.

3. Help Them Find Christian Music They Enjoy

Find out what songs your kids listen to in Sunday School/Kids Church or youth group and play those at home. Try different genres on your go-to music app and/or search by age group. For example: “Bible songs for preschoolers” or “Scripture songs for elementary ages.” Youtube has a lot of fun, engaging music videos your kids will love. Listen to your local Christian radio station in the car, so your kids get used to it. The more they hear the music, the more they will become accustomed to the style and enjoy it.  If your kids are older and not engaging in Christian music as much, figure out what style of music they like and help them find some Christian music in that style. 

4. Pray for Wisdom and Prepare them for Independence

Pray for discernment as you seek God’s guidance in navigating the secular world of music, especially as your children grow older. There is a careful balance to maintain, both avoiding unnecessary legalism while also preventing a gradual drift into harmful music. As your children mature, encourage thoughtful conversations and point them to prayer as they consider what music honors God. Ultimately, you are preparing them for the day when they will make these choices on their own, equipped with wisdom and a desire to follow Him.

To learn strategies to protect your kids from harmful media, check out Guarding Your Children from the Lies of the Enemy.

For more Christian parenting guides for media, check out my one for books and video games. And check back for more to come!

Also, check out counterculturemom.com where you can download their free media guide and get the Counter Culture Mom App to get the latest pop culture alerts straight to your phone.

“Finally, brothers and sisters, whatever is true, whatever is noble, whatever is right, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is admirable—if anything is excellent or praiseworthy—think about such things.” -Philippians 4:8 (NIV)