Warrior Mamas: A Christian Parenting Guide to Social Media
We have been discussing how Satan, our enemy, can speak lies and bring temptation to our children through media, such as harmful books, music, video games, and movies. Today we are going to look at how he can bring harm to our kids and distract them with one of the latest media platforms: social media. Because most of us parents did not grow up in the digital age with social media, this type of entertainment can be a bit more difficult for us to navigate. Let’s look at the harmful effects social media can have on teens, discuss the most common social media applications for this age group, and determine ways to monitor time and content on social media.
Five Harmful Effects of Social Media Among Teens
1. Can Become an Idol
Social media can become an idol in our children’s lives if used too much, distracting them from everyday responsibilities and from serving the Lord.
A 2024 study from Pew Research indicates that most teens use social media and “nearly half say they are online almost constantly.” As far as which social media platforms are the most common among teens, their research indicates that YouTube is the most frequently used social media platform at 90%, followed by TikTok at 63%, Instagram at 61%, and Snapchat at 55%. The percent of use has gone down slightly from the previous study Pew Research conducted in 2022, but the statistics of use are still quite high.
2. Can Corrupt Moral Character
The culture of social media can have a negative effect on teens’ character development for several reasons.
Selfishness: Social media often promotes a self-focused mindset due to the desire to share your life, look your best, gain likes and followers, take selfies, and brag about your accomplishments.
Comparison: Social media often breeds comparison, especially among girls who see pictures of other young ladies that may seem prettier, skinnier, wealthier, more popular, or more talented.
3. May Increase Risk of Mental Illness
There is a plethora of research indicating a higher risk of mental health disorders among teens who frequently use social media. Jonathan Haidt, author of The Anxious Generation, analyzed research which indicated a huge spike in anxiety and depression in teens, especially among younger teen girls, from 2004 to 2020, which correlates closely with the rise in teens acquiring smartphones and spending a lot of time on social media.
4. Raises the Risk of Cyberbullying
While social media can help teens connect with others, its widespread use has also led to an increase in cyberbullying, creating new challenges for parents seeking to protect and guide their children. Some examples of cyber-bullying include name-calling, rumor-spreading, and receiving unwanted explicit content. A 2022 study from Pew Research found that nearly half of U.S. teens report experiencing at least one form of cyberbullying.
5. Increase Risk of Predators
Social media has created new opportunities for predators to contact minors because it allows strangers to communicate directly with teens, often without the safeguards that exist in face-to-face interactions. While the vast majority of online interactions do not involve predators, online exploitation remains a significant concern for parents and teens.
Social Media Apps Teens Love: What Parents Need to Know
The social media platforms reviewed below are intended for users age 13 and older, except for YouTube Kids. Even so, I believe many younger teens are not yet mature enough to handle the social, emotional, and spiritual challenges that social media can present. As a result, my caution ratings are based on what I believe is appropriate for older teens who have demonstrated greater maturity and discernment.
Locket Widget: Mild Caution
Locket is a photo-sharing app that adds live photos from close friends to your home screen. Although it does not have as many of the typical social media features, this app can make a great alternative to Instagram or TikTok if you are not quite ready for your teen to have these other applications.
Content Concerns:
Because content is generated by friends, there is always the possibility that inappropriate photos could be shared. In addition, the app’s emphasis on frequent photo updates may become distracting for some teens.
Protective Features:
There are no parental controls on this app because none are typically needed. Locket helps you stay in touch throughout the day without scrolling through a feed. It places small, real time snapshots from selected friends (20 friends max) right on your home screen, so you notice quick updates every time you unlock your phone. The experience focuses on simple, private sharing rather than public posting. Because of this there are no parental controls.
YouTube: Moderate Caution
YouTube is the world’s largest video-sharing platform and contains everything from educational content to entertainment, gaming videos, music, and livestreams. Many teens use YouTube as a primary source of entertainment and information.
Content Concerns:
Because anyone can upload content, teens can easily encounter inappropriate language, sexual content, anti-Christian worldviews, misinformation, harmful influencers, and videos that glorify unhealthy behaviors. The ‘recommendation algorithm’ can quickly lead users from innocent content to increasingly questionable material. The comments section can also expose teens to bullying, crude language, and harmful ideas.
Protective Features:
Parents can create supervised accounts through Family Link, enable Restricted Mode, monitor watch history, disable personalized recommendations, and set screen-time limits. While these tools can reduce exposure to inappropriate content, they do not eliminate all problematic videos, so ongoing parental involvement is still important.
Instagram: Moderate Caution
Instagram focuses on photo and video sharing, stories, reels, direct messaging, and influencer content. Many teens use Instagram to connect with friends and follow celebrities, athletes, and content creators.
Content Concerns:
Instagram is often associated with social comparison, body-image struggles, fear of missing out (FOMO), and pressure to gain likes and followers. Teens may encounter sexualized content, unhealthy beauty standards, bullying, gossip, and influencers promoting values that conflict with a biblical worldview depending on what they are liking and searching for. Direct messaging can also create opportunities for inappropriate contact.
Protective Features:
Instagram offers teen accounts with automatic privacy settings, content restrictions, supervision tools, messaging protections, and screen-time reminders. Parents can use Family Center to supervise accounts and monitor usage. These protections provide helpful guardrails, but they cannot fully protect teens from unhealthy comparison and worldview influences.
TikTok: Strong Caution
TikTok is a short-form video platform known for viral trends, challenges, humor, music, and influencer content. Its highly personalized algorithm quickly learns a user’s interests and continually serves related videos.
Content Concerns:
TikTok’s algorithm can expose teens to inappropriate content, sexualized material, unhealthy body-image messages, profanity, political activism, occult themes, and influencers promoting values that conflict with biblical teaching. The endless-scroll design is intentionally addictive, making excessive screen time a common concern. Some trends and challenges may also encourage risky behavior.
Protective Features:
TikTok’s Family Pairing feature allows parents to manage screen-time limits, private messaging, content filters, and account privacy settings. Parents can also restrict who may comment on videos and who may contact their teen. Because content is rapidly uploaded and recommended, however, harmful material can still appear despite safeguards.
Snapchat: Strong Caution
Snapchat allows users to send photos, videos, and messages that disappear after viewing. It also includes stories, group chats, filters, and a location-sharing feature called Snap Map.
Content Concerns:
The disappearing-message format can encourage secrecy and reduce accountability. Teens may feel pressure to send photos they would not otherwise share because they believe messages will disappear. Group chats can expose teens to inappropriate conversations, bullying, gossip, or explicit content. Snap Map can also create privacy and safety concerns if location sharing is enabled.
Protective Features:
Parents can use Family Center to view their teen’s friend list and see who they have communicated with recently (though not message content). Privacy settings allow users to disable location sharing, limit contacts, and restrict communication from strangers. While these tools are helpful, the platform’s emphasis on private communication still requires careful parental oversight.
Discord: Strong Caution
Discord is a communication platform centered around voice, video, and text chat. Originally popular with gamers, it is now widely used by teens for communities focused on gaming, hobbies, entertainment, and shared interests.
Content Concerns:
Many Discord servers are privately moderated, making content difficult for parents to monitor. Teens may encounter profanity, sexual content, anti-Christian worldviews, pornography links, extremist ideas, bullying, or online predators. Because conversations happen in real time and across thousands of user-created communities, exposure to harmful influences can occur quickly.
Protective Features:
Discord offers Family Center, content filters, privacy settings, friend-request controls, and restrictions on direct messages from non-friends. Parents can also review some activity information through the Family Center. Even with these safeguards, Discord’s user-created communities can vary greatly in quality and safety, making parental awareness of which servers a teen joins especially important.
As Christian parents, we must be proactive in helping our teens navigate the distractions and deceptive messages often found on social media. Below are five practical ways to monitor their social media use, limit excessive screen time, and reduce their exposure to harmful content.
Five Strategies to Navigate Social Media with Your Teens
1. Determine if and when your teen is mature enough to handle social media and which types of social media you will allow them to use.
Once your teen begins asking for social media, pray about whether they are ready to handle it in a God-honoring way. You know your teen, so if you have concerns, let them know how you want to see them grow and mature before allowing them to use it, whether in their time-management skills, self-control, or overall character development. Research the type of social media your teen is wanting to use and consider the pros and cons of that particular application. Review the previous section of this blog for content concerns and protective features of each.
2. Discuss the Pros and Cons and Set Boundaries
Discuss with your teen the benefits and content concerns of the application they would like to use. Ask them why they want to have social media and how they plan to use it and discuss whether their reason is beneficial. Consider having your teen sign a contract stating your expectations for how to appropriately use the social media platform, what they should avoid, and the consequences if those expectations are not followed.
3. Set Time Limits and Parental Controls
Make sure your teens are spending time with God in prayer and His Word, completing work and responsibilities, and spending time with family before engaging in social media. How much social media is too much? For a general guideline, The American Medical Association reports that teens who are on social media three hours a day or more are twice as likely to struggle with mental health issues such as anxiety and depression. Consider your children’s ages, maturity levels, and propensity for addiction when deciding how much time they can engage with social media. Less is probably best.
Set parental controls which are built into many of the social media apps that allow you to do things like set time limits, view engagement, control friend requests, and place restrictions on direct messages from non-friends. These controls are here to help you and provide more protections for your teen using social media so you might as well take advantage of them.
4. Have Regular Check-Ins
It is important to check in with your teen and see how they are feeling about social media. Spend some time looking at their posts and what their friends are posting together and ask them and ask them how they are liking social media and if there is anything they don’t like.
Ask if they are struggling with any feelings of jealousy, isolation, or feeling rejected. Ask if they are able to keep God first and focus more on family and friends than social media. Give them strategies to try if they are struggling.
Be on the lookout for signs of depression, anxiety, and addiction. If grades start dropping, your teen is not abiding by your time limits, or they are behaving more disrespectfully, don’t be afraid to decrease their time allowance or have them take a break from social media. They may not like it, but it is more important to focus on their mental, physical, and spiritual health than trying to keep them momentarily happy.
5. Encourage Social Media Use that Glorifies God
There are many ways that social media can be good. Following Christian influencers who are truly seeking to make a difference for God’s Kingdom can be beneficial. Following godly friends who post uplifting content can also encourage your teens. Inspire your teen to use social media as a way to share their faith and to be a positive influence on others.
At the end of the day, our kids are going to grow up and make their own choices about whether to partake in social media or not. Because of this, it is important that we teach our kids how to navigate social media before they leave home.
By discussing the potential harmful effects of social media and its content concerns, you can help your teens determine whether social media is worth their time and energy. In addition, helping your teens learn the five strategies for navigating social media can help them learn how to use social media in a God-honoring way.
